FanFiction > AnnieUK's FanFic

The Battle of Brendan Chapter 3

(1/4) > >>

Previous chapter:,580.0.html

Richenda was less thrilled with the turn of events than Alaric had thought she might be.

“You gave him WHAT?”

“Don’t worry, I got the smith to dull the blade.  He won’t cut anything more than bread with it, although the castle cats may have a hard time for a while.”

Alaric looked at his wife and winked.

“Ah, don’t give me a hard time, my love.  He is so happy with it, and we had a nice time out there.   We re-enacted the Battle of Laas and I think he may become a bit of a strategist in due course.”

“Is the Battle of Laas the reason your clothes are covered in dust?”


“And is Brendan in similar condition?”

“Well ... I think you may find he is a little worse.  I think some of the infantrymen took a bit of digging up.”


“Never mind.”  He stopped and thought for a moment.  “You know, I very carefully didn’t say he or she about the baby, yet Brendan referred to it as a girl, which confirms what we both think.  If his Deryni senses are getting that sharp already maybe you need to think about bringing his training along a bit faster.”

He brushed some of the dust from his clothes and remarked “I rather enjoyed that game with Brendan.  Maybe we’ll do the Battle of Killingford next time.”  He wrapped both arms round his wife, nodded down towards her still slender waistline, and said “You know, I think I could quite enjoy being a father, after all.”

First section ends a bit abruptly - any ideas?

First EVER attempt at fiction of any kind, apart from "stories" at school, so please be gentle LOL.

That is SO wonderful!!  What did you mean, you've only done 'stories' at school :)!  

I can just see the whole situation, especially Alaric yelling at Brendan out of fear / relief at what might have happened, as much as anger at what did happen.   And I like the resolution, especially as Alaric is known as a tactician.   Playing soldiers and re-enacting battles is a time-honoured way of fathers and sons bonding, and in this case, it also provides an excellent way in for Alaric, so he can reassure Brendan that he won't be left out, and that (despite all the nasty gossip), Alaric is going to see that Brendan gets brought up as befits an earl.  

I think some of the infantrymen took a bit of digging up.”  LOL - classic line!

Only one minor 'practical' question - if Alaric was walking in the garden, and it was just a chance meeting with Brendan, why would Alaric be carrying the special dirk with him?   Would he have seen Brendan from the castle, and come down to 'accidentally' meet him?    But I really like your explanation of how special it is and what it means - and the fact that Alaric had has it suitably blunted.  No chance of lost fingers!

Ending of first section? Hmmm - it's OK as is, but if you wanted a gentler transition, maybe Alaric saying something along the lines of: he doesn't care either way as long as it's healthy etc (the usual sort of thing).  Only given Brendan's fears, perhaps a daughter would be nice?  Besides, he (Aaric) could never have too many beautiful women in his family - and he is sure a daughter would take after her mother! :)

That's awesome, Annie!  I don't see why you were so worried.   :D

I love the idea of Alaric and Brendan bonding over war-gaming (I could so easily picture that scene!), and yes, the infantrymen line was priceless.   ;D

So....when do we get more? 

OMG I am so happy.  Thank you!  I was feeling sick after I posted it, isn't that silly? 

Yes I wondered myself about him carrying the special dirk, but the solution to that didn't present itself at the time and I wanted to post it before I lost my nerve LOL.  I'll probably refine that bit in due course.

I could almost hear Alaric saying the infantryman line.  I feel I know Alaric, so I could write for him, but I definitely wouldn't tackle a whole new character like Evie's unnamed Deryni.

And I was tempted to reprise nurse Evie   ::)  but Richenda told me very firmly that she didn't want that wench in her nursery making eyes at her husband, thank you very much!

Um, as I was going to bed another idea did come to me, but I'm not sure I know enough about horses to pull it off (not that I know anything about military strategy either LOL).  Watch this space.... I could be hooked.


[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

Go to full version