The Worlds of Katherine Kurtz

Author's Note:  This is a short chapter, but it was the logical point at which to put a chapter break.  ~DR


10 June 1121, the bishop's palace, Dhassa

   In his room, Denis remembered the first time he'd seen the apparition; it had been late the night after his ordination.  He had been in his room at Arx Fidei, still feeling the exaltation and wonder of the ceremony, when he saw what he thought was a figment of his imagination: his friend, standing in the corner of the silent dormitory, looking very like he had looked at his ordination before the merasha-poisoned wine had destroyed everything for him.  He was smiling in a way he had never done in life—a combination of knowledge, awe, and joy.  The figure of Jorian had said nothing at the time; he had just stood there smiling benignly and then vanished.  He was there so briefly that Denis convinced himself he had imagined the appearance.


   The first time the apparition spoke to him was in 1112 on the anniversary of his ordination.  Denis was in bed about to blow out the candle and go to sleep when he saw Jorian just appear out of thin air as if using a Portal where there was no Portal.  He stared, completely flabbergasted.

   "My old friend, you do know who I am?" the figure asked.  Denis could only nod.

   The figure of Jorian smiled.  "I have on good authority," he began, and Denis would have sworn that there was laughter in the spectre's expression and tone.   "That you've been told to get yourself transferred to Rhemuth because there is a young Deryni seminarian on track to be ordained next year."  Denis nodded again, still dumbstruck.   "His name is Lord Duncan McLain, and it is important for reasons you know and reasons you do not yet know that he be ordained.  Your help is key."  Denis nodded a third time.  Jorian paused.  "This is not just your Council's will; it is the will of our Lord God."  The apparition smiled again.  "Be blessed and know that while men may disagree, you are doing the work of God."  And with those words and a gesture of blessing, he vanished as quickly as he had arrived.

   Denis stared at the place where the figure had been, wondering if he should pinch himself or if he was hallucinating.  But his allies on the Camberian Council had in fact told him that he was to transfer to Rhemuth as soon as possible to facilitate the ordination of this young man.  What in the world was going on here?  Maybe that was the wrong phrasing, Denis thought and almost laughed.  Whatever was going on, it was clearly not in the scheme of normal worldly events.

   Denis began to tell himself that he was imagining things or dreaming before he had actually slept.  With an uneasy mind, he eventually fell into a troubled sleep.


   The figure of Jorian appeared to him again the night before his consecration as a bishop, and by now, Denis had begun to believe that something was going on that could not be explained by human—or Deryni—means.  As with the night after his ordination, it was a brief visit; the figure, dressed as ever as Jorian had been on the day of his ordination, did not speak this time but appeared, smiled kindly, made the sign of the Cross over Denis, and promptly disappeared.


   But until the warm summer night in the Cathedral of Saint Senan with the young seminarian, he had mostly talked himself into believing it was wishful imaginings on his own part.  Young Nivard's assertion that they had been visited by a saint shook Denis more than he cared to admit and certainly more than he would ever show.  If anybody Denis had ever known deserved to be elevated to the Altars, it was Jorian de Courcy, but he just found it hard to grasp.  Had he truly come under special notice from God and His saints?  Perhaps not on his own merits, but on the merits of his life's work?  Perhaps that was it, that God wanted the work of restoring the standing of Deryni in Gwynedd done and done right, and was guiding Denis since he was in an ideal position to see progress made.  It made Denis feel a little better to think that it was not really he whom God had noticed but his efforts on behalf of his people.  He began to pray quietly, mostly directly to God, but also, silently, to—dare he say it—the saint who had taken such a personal interest in him and Deryni ordinands in general.  Perhaps someday, even the Church would recognize Jorian's sanctity.  On that thought, the young bishop finally fell asleep.

I love it.

The touches of gentle humour are wonderful

"I have on good authority," he began, and Denis would have sworn that there was laughter in the spectre's expression and tone.".

I don't think that I've ever read so many scenes with Denis in them where he is struck speechless but it's lovely to see things from his POV.

Yes, the idea of Denis Arilan SPEECHLESS is somewhat hard to grasp.

Quote from: revanne on March 27, 2015, 03:44:39 AM
I don't think that I've ever read so many scenes with Denis in them where he is struck speechless but it's lovely to see things from his POV.

I'm glad you're enjoying the story (so far at least).

I think anyone, Denis included, would be a little taken aback at the events so far.  Denis definitely has a very high degree of personal composure and a very dignified bearing, but even someone who keeps himself in check as Denis does is going to be a bit surprised at being visited by a saint--particularly a saint whose martyrdom he personally witnessed whilst knowing damn good and well he could be the next to burn.

Also, Denis is established in canon as highly intelligent (in "Priesting" it says that he and one other seminarian were competing for top academic honors), and a high degree of sensitivity tends to go with that sort of scholarly intellect.  He's had to learn to hide the emotional sensitivity of his nature, but then, he's been through the wringer by the time he is ordained, even, and he's a very young man at that point.  Not only has he witnessed the execution of a friend, Evie pointed something out to me last night in chat that I totally missed or didn't remember. 

In Childe Morgan, a twelve-year-old Denis (who is not actually designated by name in the narrative, but he's Jamyl's younger brother, so who else could it be?) is tasked with guarding a Portal most people don't know is there to protect Brion from assassination.  Denis gets the job done, leaving not a mark on the assassin's body, although in the narrative, you don't actually see what Denis had to do, but Evie and I agreed that he probably did the psychic-squeeze of the heart until it stopped.  But Denis was all of TWELVE when he had to do this.  That's an age that is no fun under the best of circumstances, and when Evie pointed this out to me, I went and found the passage in CM (it took me a minute and Evie wound up having to give me page numbers, LOL).

So by the time Denis is twenty or twenty-one (at his ordination), he's had to live for the last couple of decades in a place and time that hate him for something he didn't ask for and can't change, he's had to protect a king from assassination using the very element of himself that provokes such hatred at considerable personal risk and at an incredibly early age, and he's had to witness the burning at the stake of someone clearly very dear to him, even if they did have to play down their friendship for both their safety whilst at seminary.

And all this before he's even really "mature."  (Modern research has shown that the brain doesn't actually finish developing until about age twenty-five.)

And people wonder why he can be a bit irascible in his middle age?  :)

Actually, Denis is named earlier in that chapter, DR.  Someone (Rhydon?) specifically tells Jamyl that he arranged for Denis to be part of the choir from Arx Fidei that will be in attendance, and that he has it in mind that Denis should fake illness so that he'll be permitted to remain in the sacristy, where he'd be on duty guarding the Portal.  Evidently one of the would-be assassins did try to get past him later via that Portal, hence him having to use his powers to kill the man (or at least Deryni powers are assumed, since the man died without any mark on him), despite his youth at the time.

Can't really blame Denis for being speechless when Jorian shows up.  I'm pretty sure if a dead friend kept dropping in on me, I'd be pretty speechless too!  Under the circumstances, what exactly would you say?  "Hey, bro!  Good to see you again!  Haven't seen you in ages; wasn't really expecting to see you again this soon either.  By the way, nice tan...."   ;D

Okay, I must have missed the paragraph where Denis is actually designated by name.  I do read too fast sometimes.  :)

The more I read about Denis, the more I wonder if he might not have had at least some mild symptoms of what in the modern age we would call PTSD.  Although that term for it is modern, trauma survivors throughout the ages have struggled with the same sorts of symptoms, being just as human and subject to extreme stress then as we are now. And in a sense, Denis has lived all of his life in what is essentially a wartime situation, that war being against his own Deryni race, and had to grow up living defensively in order to survive and in his own way fight back.  I think possibly one thing that could have drawn him to the priesthood (aside from God's call on him, of course) is that he needed the spiritual and psychologically healing benefits of seeking reconciliation with God despite some of the things he has had to do (or at times not do) in order to survive or help others survive. The area of our greatest brokenness is often the very area that allows us to give a helping hand to others who have been through the same trauma and be able to relate to them fully, and I think Denis is reacting to being a Deryni "survivor" by working towards a long-term goal of helping to create a society in which future Deryni will be better able to survive and thrive, by being a catalyst for change within the Church.

But as for those milder symptoms of trauma survival, some of those can include irritability, difficulty in relationships with others, angry outbursts, always being on guard against danger, and overwhelming guilt (Denis admits to this one in a conversation with Cardiel early in HD). It would not surprise me if he also experiences the occasional flashback or nightmare.

I read a really interesting online article about a year ago about the psychological benefits to a warrior culture that the Sacrament of Reconciliation (i.e. Confession) would have had for soldiers returning from battle. Quite apart from any spiritual benefits (the article was written from a secular standpoint), the ability to unburden oneself of those traumatic memories and have a priest offer absolution would also have served a similar sort of healing purpose as modern psychotherapy offers to returning soldiers suffering from varying stages of PTSD. Granted, in his situation there are probably still some things that Denis would hardly have been able to confess, as a Deryni priest in defiance of the Statutes of Ramos, unless he was extremely careful in his choice of confessor. I imagine once Denis made his secret known to Bishop Cardiel, that poor man must have gotten an earful later!  ;D

That's a good thought process, Evie, and one that had not consciously occurred to me as yet, at least not in so many words.

Re: Denis' outburst at Duncan over Dhugal's knighting, that may very well have been the result of long years of living in a state that modern psychologists call hypervigilance, which is to say a (sometimes extremely) heightened sense of awareness of one's surroundings and any possible dangers therein.

I think Denis' feelings of guilt, especially over Jorian's execution, tend to block him from seeing his own courage, which I went into in significant detail in the thread for Chapter 1, so I won't repeat myself here.

And yeah, I can see Cardiel at some point having to wear his purple stole for a good long chat with Denis.  (Someone [Aerlys and revanne seem the likeliest candidates] correct me if I'm wrong about the liturgical color there, but something is telling me that priests wear the purple stole whilst hearing Confession.)

Quote from: revanne on March 27, 2015, 03:44:39 AM

I don't think that I've ever read so many scenes with Denis in them where he is struck speechless but it's lovely to see things from his POV.

There are times when I might have wished him to be struck speechless more often....  ;)  ;D

Seriously, though, I'm enjoying this story.

 ;D Evie

Quote from: Evie on March 27, 2015, 08:09:49 AM
By the way, nice tan...."   ;D

I can so understand how Denis has almost convinced himself that his visions of Jorian are just wish fulfillment. He has learnt not to hope for too much, and I'm sure he used his powers of analytical reasoning even more rigorously on himself than on anyone else.

I can totally see how it happened but it ends up that both Donal and Brion are able to protect Deryni when they use their powers in a way that only increases fear of what Deryni can do ( Denis has to use his powers to kill at a very young age, Alaric scarcely older activates Brion's Haldane potential) but are unable to gain enough acceptance for a benign use to be displayed. Donal only manages to protect Alyce after her truth-reading at considerable cost to himself.

Purple stole is right for confession.

I think you are entirely right Evie, my own experience of the sacrament of confession is that one is not only helped to understand one's own sins, repent of them and receive the assurance of forgiveness but also recognise the limits of one's own responsibilities. It is a heart-wrenching moment in HD when Denis tells Thomas Cardiel that he asks forgiveness every night from the victims of persecution which he has not been able to prevent. I hope that Father Thomas tells him in terms that he can accept that he can and should feel grief but it is not he who needs to seek their forgiveness.

Quote from: revanne on March 27, 2015, 11:08:55 AM
Purple stole is right for confession.

I think you are entirely right Evie, my own experience of the sacrament of confession is that one is not only helped to understand one's own sins, repent of them and receive the assurance of forgiveness but also recognise the limits of one's own responsibilities. It is a heart-wrenching moment in HD when Denis tells Thomas Cardiel that he asks forgiveness every night from the victims of persecution which he has not been able to prevent. I hope that Father Thomas tells him in terms that he can accept that he can and should feel grief but it is not he who needs to seek their forgiveness.

Thank you for confirming my assumption there.  I'm not even sure where in my brain that little tidbit popped from, but I had a hunch and ran with it.  :)

As to confession and Thomas and Denis, I have no response in words because when I read that, I had to try hard not to sniffle too much.

Nice chapter, DR, and good to know of Arilan's previous encounters with Saint Jorian.

Looking forward to chapter 3.

I am really enjoying this story so far.  I am getting a sense of Denis that I had not seen before. (I am sorry to say, but Denis always seemed to me to be a personal antagonist for our main characters, Alaric and Duncan, and I always found it hard to warm up to him).  You are doing a good job to help change that perception.

Interesting conversation going on. I have not reread Child Morgan yet (I'm just near the end of ITKS), but for Denis to Kill a Deryni assassin that came thought the portal he is guarding, than more than just the heart spell would have to be used. One can not kill someone with the heart stopping spell who has  shields. One would have to break away those shields first (ie Charissa giving Brion Meresha). The young boy would either have to knock the assassin out first (which would leave a mark) or break through the shields by Mind Ripping. This would mean Denis has considerable ability, which we know, and that the incident would lead to more PTSD which I hope his brother Jamyl could help him deal with after the act was done. It might also have caused young Denis to search in higher places for Salvation.

My other question is about the young seminarian Duncan. Does the Camberian council know about Duncan? Keryell and Stevana secretly placed Vera in another home a birth. At about 14, Keryell brings Vera back into his home as a maid for his new wife and tells her the truth. Then Vera tells Alyce she's her twin sister after Keryell's death but no one else. Vera never tells Jared she is Deryni, and I do not know if anyone other than Alaric knows that Vera's son, Duncan, is Deryni.  I suppose the nosy Camberian Council would have figured it out, but I do not know how or when. And we know Denis helps Duncan get passed his ordination, but I was always curious how Denis knew. Perhaps Revanne's future story will answer this Question.

DR, I am looking forward to the next chapter.

Thank you, Jerusha and Laurna.  :)

I think the Council is already aware that Vera was Alyce's half sister in HD, but I'd have to flip through the book again for specific references.

I was just thinking through that question some more about how the Camberian Council knew about Duncan's mother, and I remembered the Council was discussing Duncan's "half-breed" status even earlier on, so that was in DC, I think. It was when they were trying to decide whether to allow Alaric and Duncan to be challenged in a Duel Arcane to test the strength of their powers.  (As a side note, notice how strenuously opposed Denis is to that plan in that discussion!)  So clearly sometime between Duncan's birth and his 29th year, the Council discovered Vera's connection to Alyce. Vivienne even makes direct reference to the sisters at one point.  Maybe her mother Stevana confided something about her separated twin daughters to her friend Jessamy, and Sief (Jessamy's husband, who was on the CC) found out? Or maybe someone on the Council, suspecting that Alaric and Duncan might be something closer than fifth cousins, decided to check the young lad for shields and, once found, to check the psychic imprint of those shields to see what bloodline they matched up with?  (Similar to how they tried to check little Krispin's shields to see if he was Donal's son or actually Sief's.)

Oh, and once the Council knew about Duncan being half-Deryni, then of course Denis would know too, unless the Council found out about this before 1107 and then no one happened to ever mention it again after Denis joined their number. :D  Since that seems unlikely, then I would think by the time Duncan's ordination became imminent, Denis would have had enough time to arrange for a transfer to Rhemuth to help him through it.

Quote from: Evie on March 27, 2015, 12:59:57 PM
I think the Council is already aware that Vera was Alyce's half sister in HD, but I'd have to flip through the book again for specific references.

I think, for once, I've caught your error.  Weren't Alyce and Vera twins?  I mean, I suppose it's genetically possible for fraternal twins to be half-siblings, assuming the mother had two partners in very short succession, but that would be highly unusual--and I should think, a bit out of character for Stevana.  :)

You're right. I meant to say twins, not half sisters.  That's what I get for typing in a hurry with my mind half on phone calls and trying to catch up with email.  Somehow the idea of "half=breeds" got mixed in with "sisters" and I ended up with "half sisters" rather than Duncan being the "half-breed" son of a secret twin sister.:D

QuoteI ended up with "half sisters" rather than Duncan being the "half-breed" son of a secret twin sister.:D

Too cute,  Good catch DR.  I had missed that at first.

It also occurs to me that Keryell was on the Camberian Council's watch list, since he had gone against their wishes and married Stevana in the first place. (take note that Stevana was already 26 years old at her marriage not a young maid). Even though Keryell and Stevana were trying to hid their second twin daughter, I can see where the Council would have made it a point to discover any secrets Keryell may have had. Therefore, they would have known about Duncan fairly early and I can then see where they would have asked Denis to intervene when it became apparent the young Half- Deryni meant to complete his Ordination. And I am glad to read here, that Saint Jorian agreed with this and asked Denis take action to protect Duncan.  Thanks DR.

Quote from: Evie on March 27, 2015, 01:37:03 PM
You're right. I meant to say twins, not half sisters.  That's what I get for typing in a hurry with my mind half on phone calls and trying to catch up with email.  Somehow the idea of "half=breeds" got mixed in with "sisters" and I ended up with "half sisters" rather than Duncan being the "half-breed" son of a secret twin sister.:D

It happens, LOL.

Laurna, I'm glad you're enjoying my story.  Thank you for reading.

I think there is a simpler answer which will be revealed in the story of Duncan's Ordination but I'm too mean to post a spoiler

revanne, you evil tease.  :D

Quote from: DesertRose on March 27, 2015, 02:28:55 PM
revanne, you evil tease.  :D

LOL, you beat me to that reply, DR!  ;D

LOL! I will third that!  ;D

Also enjoying this story, DR. Seems that St. Jorian the Martyr is enjoying his apres-vie rather more than he got to enjoy life. Maybe he got together with Camber and Camber shared tips for opportune ways and times to drop in on his living friends and relatives and surprise their socks off.  =o)

Revanne...WRITE WOMAN, WRITE!!

Melissa

I am, I promise :>)

Quote from: DesertRose on March 27, 2015, 02:28:55 PM
revanne, you evil tease.  :D

Revanne enters humbly upon her knees ( or would do if I had'nt somehow managed to put my back out) and wonders if his excellency Bishop Duncan is available for the confessional.

It was only simpler because I'd forgotten something obvious. *sighs and goes back to the drawing board*

Quote

Revanne enters humbly upon her knees ( or would do if I had'nt somehow managed to put my back out) and wonders if his excellency Bishop Duncan is available for the confessional.

/me fetches his purple stole . . . .

You need me, my lady?

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa

Quote from: revanne on March 28, 2015, 07:35:00 AM
It was only simpler because I'd forgotten something obvious. *sighs and goes back to the drawing board*

Ah, yes, dear revanne. "Pride cometh before the fall." (**ducks and runs**)

Thank you, DR, for continuing to give us this insight into Denis Arilan, though I am beginning to wonder if this is more of a story about him instead of Jorian!

That said, I find it fascinating that KK has created characters of such depth that entire discussions can be had about what has influenced or motivated their actions. It is a gift to be able to create such depth, which I believe is why her popularity endures.

Either that, or we're all a little obsessed.  :) Nahhh....

Quote from: Aerlys on March 28, 2015, 12:46:01 PM
Thank you, DR, for continuing to give us this insight into Denis Arilan, though I am beginning to wonder if this is more of a story about him instead of Jorian!

There are three more chapters and an epilogue (which got longer since I posted chapter 1) coming, but Saint Jorian has some things to do in order for the Church to recognize him that don't entail joyously perturbing his old friend Denis. 

If I say any more, I'll spoil the story, so I'll shut up now.  :D

Quote from: Aerlys on March 28, 2015, 12:46:01 PM

Ah, yes, dear revanne. "Pride cometh before the fall." (**ducks and runs**)

Alas indeed. Strangely enough, that verse had occurred to me too :<)

QuoteEither that, or we're all a little obsessed.  :) Nahhh....

I deny any accusation of obsession.  ;D ;D ;D ;D

Even after years of having all my free time disappear because of one thing or another having to do with Deryni.

Nope! Not obsessed!


That said. DR, Revanne, Evie, Jerusha, Aerlys,  Annie... Opps... and Shiral, and everyone else. Write on!  Write on!

Either that, or we're all a little obsessed.  :) Nahhh....

Aerlys, you say "obsessed" as if it were a BAD thing! =o)

Melissa

And there is something wrong with being obsessed?   :o

There are worse things than having heroes that are knights or bishops. 

I never said there was anything wrong with it.  ;D

Just thinking out loud...with my fingers, at least.